Welcome to monicanicoled.com!! The ole blog got a little makeover because I wanted to start expanding upon what my blog has been about for the past year. Hopefully the website will be much easier for people to find now that my last name is no longer a part of the URL ha! I have to say that I have a whole new level of appreciation for people who do computer/website/techy stuff that I know nothing about for a living because this was probably the most frustrating experience of my life, but I’m so glad I finally got it all figured out! Bear with me for the next little bit while I get used to everything! I’ll probably keep changing things up a little bit over the next couple months.
The whole process of making my own website was a pretty big deal for me — it’s something I’ve been thinking about doing for a long time. Over the past year, I found a love for writing, sharing, and connecting that I didn’t know I had. I think it’s cool that I was able to discover that passion through some difficult experiences. That kinda makes me feel like writing, sharing, and connecting was something I was meant to do. Starting up a website was actually a really big step for me. It might not look like much from the outside, but there was a lot of anxiety going into this. Literally, so many irrational worries and anxious thoughts that made me consider just closing my laptop when I couldn’t figure out how to transfer my blog over to my new domain. Here’s a behind-the-scenes look inside my mind over the past 3 weeks if you’re curious:
People are going to judge you. This was a big one that my mind kept throwing at me. What if people think you’re trying to be some kind of influencer now? You know those girls you went to high school with who you literally never even talk to who should have no influence on any of your decisions will probably see this and laugh, right?
No one is going to care. Another big fear. No one is going to read what you post, and they probably won’t take you seriously if they do, so why bother? You don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said before, so this is probably just a waste of time.
Those fears and so many others have crept into my mind over the past month and have threatened to keep me from doing this (on top of the worries that, well, I really have no idea what I’m doing). Buuuut as I’m writing them down I am able to see those anxieties for what they are: anxieties. This year one of my goals was to stop trying to people please so much and do more of what actually makes me happy, so this is a big step in the right direction for me. I have spent so much of my life shying away from things I felt like I really wanted to do because I worried that it might be out of character for me in other people’s eyes. I wonder how many of us tend to live that way. I’ve felt convicted about that lately, so I want to start living more boldly in the freedom that the Lord gave me to be who I am. That’s the whole purpose of what I’m doing. Anything else that could come of it would just be a nice extra.
Maybe some of you have been where I am, too. Hopefully this will be an encouragement for anyone who may be holding themselves back because of fear. There is freedom in pushing through the negative voices in your head and doing the things that you convinced yourself you couldn’t do.
I saw someone say once that her only goal was to please God and encourage at least one other person through what she does, and it stuck with me. I think if I am able to do that, everything will always be worth it to me. Thanks for following along if you are.
Here’s to a year of facing fears!