April 11, 2018

I’ve been writing a ton of posts lately. This wasn’t my original plan (I was only going to post once every couple weeks or so), but the Lord just keeps putting things on my heart for me to write about! I would love to be a typical blogger who has all of her posts planned out and scheduled nicely, but honestly, I feel like planning out my posts would defeat the purpose of this blog for me. I started it so I could talk about things that I feel led to talk about, and I want to share those whenever the Lord puts it on my heart. So, if you’ve been following along with all of these posts, I really appreciate your dedication. 🙂

I was at work last night when I had a weird moment of feeling God speak to me. Honestly, if there is one good thing that has come out of this difficult season I’ve been walking through, it’s that my relationship with the Lord has really been cultivated. I feel closer to God than ever because I’ve been relying on him so heavily to help me through my heartbreak, and I feel like he has given me wisdom in areas where I really needed it — one of those areas being my beliefs about the way God speaks to us. I used to feel so conflicted when it came to the Lord speaking to me. I never knew what I was supposed to look for. Is he going to actually speak to me? Will I hear it? If I don’t actually hear it, how will I know if something is him or if it’s just me thinking it’s him? 

For some reason, I thought that hearing from God meant legitimately hearing God’s voice, and that was the only way it would happen. Whenever people would say things like, “God told me ______,” I was always so confused. All these people must be really close to God if they’re literally able to hear him! 

I knew that the Lord could speak through other things too, but I never knew how people were able to know what was God and what wasn’t. I struggled for so long with not being able to tell if something I felt was from the Lord or if my mind was cultivating the thoughts I had. I always heard that the closer you are to God, the more clearly you can see him in your life. I believed that, but I’ve never truly experienced it until recently. And it is seriously the coolest thing ever.

I got a new job recently. Last night at work, I went on a break with the girl I sit next to in the office, and we decided to run downstairs to grab some queso from the Mexican restaurant that is (very conveniently) located on the first floor of our building. While we were waiting on our orders, she took a phone call and said she was going to stand outside of the restaurant because it was hot inside. I really don’t know if it was because I felt awkward standing inside by myself or because I just felt like going out to stand where she was, but a couple minutes later I went out and stood with her. I was just checking my phone while she was talking, so I was able to hear everything she was saying to the girl she was talking to. The second I started hearing her words, I immediately got chills because I knew those words were for me.

“Just because something isn’t happening right now doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen.”

“Don’t get discouraged because things don’t look like you want them to right now.”

“Keep praying, keep having faith, keep trusting.”

I don’t know the exact context of the conversation this girl was having with her friend, but everything that was said were things that I desperately needed to hear. Before, I may have just heard a conversation like that and thought, “wow, what a coincidence.” I randomly decided to go downstairs with this girl, and I just so happened to step outside with her right as she was saying things that were relevant to my current situation. It seems like a very coincidental circumstance, but I know for a fact that the Lord was using that phone conversation to speak to me. I don’t know if I would’ve even picked up on this before, but I’ve realized that when you are in close and constant communication with the Lord, he makes it obvious when he’s trying to get your attention. 

I didn’t even try to interpret what that girl’s words could have meant for me. Normally, I would have tried to decode the message I was feeling from God to see what he meant by it and what that meant for me, but this time, I took it as a message of validation. Assurance that right now I am exactly where I need to be, and I am doing all that God wants me to do. The things she said were all things that I’ve been preaching to myself from the very beginning of all of this, but the Lord knew that I wanted clarity to be sure that I was doing the right thing. I constantly worry that there is more I could be doing in my situation or that I’m not in the right place right now, but I felt God assuring me that I’ve done what I can and now I just need to continue being persistent in prayer and in faith.

I wanted to share this because I’ve never really had an experience before where I was 100% positive that something I was hearing or feeling was from the Lord. Before, I didn’t fully realize that God can speak to us through anything, and I needed the reminder (maybe someone else does, too) that God is all around, and he is working in the smallest details — even buying queso on a ten minute break. I know he’s using this time in my life to grow me and prepare me for whatever is next. I needed to hear him last night. I’m thankful that this season has been able to strengthen my relationship with him and has allowed me to see things more clearly than before. I’m thankful that I’ve arrived at a place where I can actually be thankful for different aspects of this season I’m in. 


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